Bambi Slayer

The relationship between Vladimir Putin and Silvio Berlusconi has been covered to death, especially after Wiki leaked. Or so one thought.

Yesterday, Italian paper La Stampa revealed perhaps the most revelatory revelation yet, one that finally fleshes out — in full, voluptuous real-life metaphor — the nature of the dynamic between the two mens.

According the paper, on one of Silvio’s visits to Putin’s dacha, Vlad insisted that the two of them go for a walk in the woods, alone. Silvio put on a fur hat, Vlad slung a rifle over his shoulder.

They walked, they talked. Then Vlad saw a shadow flitting by and, before Silvio could even react, Vlad had shot what turned out to be a deer in one shot. Killed it dead. Then he took out a knife and cut out the deer’s heart. Silvio duly fainted.

Of course, this sounds totally fishy but it’s a blog and it’s too good not to tell. I mean, Putin has done many a crazy thing, but killing and de-hearting Bambi is probably his most glorious accomplishment.

via InoPressa

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15 Responses to Bambi Slayer

  1. Yes, when I saw this, I thought it was likely a hoax, and now I’m sure.

    This is the kind of sensationalist crap journalists would love to splash across their papers and it would have surely spread by now if it was genuine. But the only places where this is mentioned are mostly liberal sites, under titles such as “Oн вообще нормальный?” (their inevitable answer: no, of course Putin isn’t).

  2. marknesop says:

    How, exactly, does this flesh out the dynamic between the “two mens”?

    I mean, the reporter who wrote the story wasn’t even in the country at the time. This story, he says, is one of those Valentino “doesn’t speak about”. Yet, according to this version, Valentino was not present either, having been told to wait in the cottage. The allegory is third-hand from someone who did not see the incident described, who – according to the author – “doesn’t talk about” the incident to which he was not a witness. The sequence of events must have come from Berlusconi himself; “he-man” Berlusconi, who is hardly likely to tell a hunting story that culminates in his fainting like a candy-striper at the sight of blood. Either that, or it’s completely fabricated. Considering how hard it is to hit a deer-sized target in heavy forest cover if it was tied to a tree, never mind on the run, I’d favour the latter.

    I can see all too clearly why you’d pass it along as “too good not to tell”. But I’m damned if I can discern why you’d rate it “(Putin’s) most glorious accomplishment”. I’d have pointed to the healthy economy, the reduction of the national debt (forecast by Goldman-Sachs to be eliminated in 2011, 4 years ahead of schedule), favourable ratings from international economic agencies after almost complete collapse under Yeltsin, and the advances of judicial reform (new criminal code, criminal procedural code, land code and labour code).

    But then, I’m not the hunter you apparently are. Either that, or you were being sarcastic, which would be completely out of character for you.

    • Tim Newman says:

      Has the labour code really been reformed? The one I worked under (and had to sit through a 5-day training course every year to make sure I understood it) dated from Yeltsin’s time, and AFAIK had no significant amendments since. If it came to a choice between the two, I’d be holding up Putin whacking Bambi instead of his having anything to do with the Russian labour code if I was interested in putting a positive spin on his achievements!

    • Robert says:

      No, markensop. I think this was was one of his “most glorious accomplishments”:

      December 03, 2010

      KATYR-YURT, Russia — A Chechen woman has welcomed a ruling by the European Court of Human Rights that awarded her and more than two dozen others record compensation for a deadly Russian air raid on their village, RFE/RL’s North Caucasus Service reports.

      On December 2, the Strasbourg-based court ruled that Moscow should pay Marusya Abuyeva and 28 others 1.72 million euros ($2.2 million) over the deaths of 24 of the applicants’ relatives in the February 2000 raid on the village of Katyr-Yurt.

      The court ruled that there had been a violation of right to life and right to an effective remedy in what hit called Russia’s failure to investigate the “indiscriminate bombardment.”

      Abuyeva told RFE/RL she was happy with the ruling, saying that Russian authorities had not responded properly to their demands for a full investigation.

      “We understand that it’s not possible to return our [loved ones] but at least we have a just decision which proves that they were murdered,” she said.

      http://www.rferl.org/content/article/2238545.html

    • Robert says:

      And also on the same day, there was a ruling into a “disappearance” murder of a man (Isa Aytamirov) who was kidnapped by a Putinite “military” band formation in 2003.

      http://www.srji.org/en/legal/cases

      I think there was any deer hurt there, however.

  3. Tim Newman says:

    Why this article works is because even though it is fairly obviously made up, it is almost believable. That’s all that is needed for satire to work, slight exaggeration. I thought all that was missing was a description of the heart as “still beating”.

  4. marknesop says:

    Well, I’m glad we got that cleared up. It’s not necessary that material created for public consumption be accurate, only that it be almost believable. Stay tuned for my upcoming articles, in which Condoleezza Rice is a deep-cover agent for the Mossad, and that she and Dubya are secretly married. And David Cameron never makes a major decision without discussing the matter with his pet vole, Cuthbert.

    • Tim Newman says:

      Nah, it all depends on the publication in which it appears. You probably don’t have the same sort of tabloid media in Canada that we have in Europe (particularly the UK) which pushes articles based on 10% grain-of truth embelished by 90% speculation, heresay, and projection. After a while, you learn not to take them seriously. It can also depend on the location it appears in the newspaper, for instance the editorials and columns in the British quality dailies have a certain artistic license not granted to the leaders, and this even varies from column to column (Thunderer in The Times, for example). Add that to the fact that most stories posted by journalists are at best hopelessly inaccurate, and you have a nice little space-filler which – as the commenter below says – merely exaggerates an image the Kremlin has been consistently cultivating for years. Nobody should take this sort of stuff seriously.

    • Robert says:

      No, markesnop, I’m waiting for your upcoming articles in which you will say how an international court also proved repeatedly this (“repeatedly” in the sense : nearly 200 different rulings against Russia now, including many joint cases like this one regarding 24 deaths, with hundreds more pending): “Dubya” too sent troops, including literal death squads, to kill uncounted thousands of civilians and other unarmed people which he claims were US citiziens on the US soil and almost of the killings were not investigated. You know, the things like these you called “his victory in Chechnya”.

      http://cmiskp.echr.coe.int/tkp197/view.asp?action=html&documentId=877841&portal=hbkm&source=externalbydocnumber&table=F69A27FD8FB86142BF01C1166DEA398649

      In that case the Court established a number of facts relevant to the present case which can be summarised as follows.

      8. Since the beginning of military operations by the Russian military and security forces in Chechnya in the autumn of 1999, the village of Katyr-Yurt had been treated as a “safe zone.” By the beginning of February 2000 up to 25,000 persons lived there, including local residents and internally displaced persons from elsewhere in Chechnya. Prior to 4 February 2000 the residents of Katyr-Yurt had not been informed by the State authorities about the possible advance of Chechen insurgent formations into the village, whereas such information had been available to federal military commanders. On 4 February 2000 the village was captured by a large group of Chechen fighters escaping from Grozny and the federal military forces subsequently carried out an assault, using weapons such as heavy free-falling aviation bombs, missiles and other arsenal. The two roads out of the village were controlled by the military by means of roadblocks. While the roadblock leading towards the district centre of Achkhoy-Martan allowed the residents to leave, the other one, placed on the road leading towards the neighbouring village of Valerick, remained closed for the majority of the fighting. The shelling of Katyr-Yurt continued until – and throughout – 7 February 2000.

      9. At the material time, all of the applicants lived in Katyr-Yurt. As a result of the bombardment, twenty-four of the applicants’ relatives died (see table attached). Some applicants also sustained various injuries, as summarised below.

  5. Peregrinus says:

    Quite believable ’cause absolutely in-sync with image laboriously painted by Russian media.

  6. Robert says:

    @lol, someone’s clearly desperate for attention…

    Are you talking about Marusya Abuyeva (“lol”)? According to RIAN it’s $2.3 mln.
    http://en.rian.ru/world/20101203/161604006.html

    I don’t know if the Putinite bandits cut out any hearts in this particular incident, but one of the recent rulings (in October) involved a case of high-ranking “police officer” cutting off an ear of a live human, the school teacher Alaudin Sadykov, who also got most of his teeth kicked out and his ribs kicked in after he was randomly snatched by the “police” terrorists off the street, and during his two-months-long kidnapping his home was completely looted by the same criminals and they shot his dog too (talking about killing animals).

    http://cmiskp.echr.coe.int/tkp197/view.asp?action=html&documentId=875199&portal=hbkm&source=externalbydocnumber&table=F69A27FD8FB86142BF01C1166DEA398649

    • marknesop says:

      Robert, why don’t you start your own blog, and focus on Chechen issues and incidents? Seriously, you could do it as well as anyone who already is doing it, and you obviously feel very strongly about it. WordPress is easy to use and getting easier every update, and I’d be happy to help you you get started if you like. Even on LaRussophobe, better than 85% of your comments are on Chechnya regardless the subject of the discussion – she just lets you run with it because your views seem generally anti-Russian; anyone else would get a reminder to stay on the subject.

      All the hammering on Putin suggests those who feel that way believe all Russia’s problems and intrigues would simply disappear if Putin was gone. Is that what you believe? Do you think if Nemtsov were elected, the Chechen problem would be resolved? If Russia simply abandoned any pretense of trying to control Chechnya, and pulled out, would it be peaceful and progressive, do you think? Or is it more likely old rivalries would be remembered once the common enemy was gone, and they would fall once more into fighting among themselves? Who would you blame then?

      If you start your own blog, I recommend you keep it current rather than focusing on things that happened 10 years ago, although you could bring that in by concentrating on recent court rulings. I’d read it with interest, and don’t usually deal much with Chechnya myself because you know much more about what’s going on there than anyone else I can think of.

    • Alexei Cemirtan says:

      At the time Putin came to power (and still to this day) the only real alternatives were Communists or Liberal Democrats (Nationalists). In either party there were serious discussions of “solving” the Chechen problem by the way of a medium-sized nuclear device… that is not to say that they would have really done it, but its almost certain that Putin was by far NOT the worst choice for Chechens and Chechnya. I wish you would stop for a second and consider the alternatives before making another dump on Putin (which of course is not going to happen, but one can hope).

  7. Robert says:

    @Robert, why don’t you start your own blog, and focus on Chechen issues and incidents?

    Mark, why do you just praised “his victory in Chechnya”?

    @your views seem generally anti-Russian

    Haha, no. I’m just against Russian criminals.

    @Do you think if Nemtsov were elected, the Chechen problem would be resolved?

    I think Maskhadov was elected and I wonder what happened to his body.

    @If Russia simply abandoned any pretense of trying to control Chechnya, and pulled out, would it be peaceful and progressive, do you think?

    An easy solution would be a Balkan-like UN protectorate with international peacekeeping forces (not to confuse with “mirotvortsy”). It’s a really small place (now even much less populated than it would be). About “old rivalries”: there’s such a peace even in Bosnia, and Bosnia was worse (not in the terms of destruction – Sarajevo was not leveled after all, but in the terms of atrocities and ethnic hate). Oh, and the same should also apply to Abkhazia and South Ossetia, to safeguard the return of refugess and restoration of the normal economies, until the pre-war populations vote there in referendums for the region’s futures. Of course, the new problem is that following “his victory in Chechnya”, there are also many autonomous local armed Islamic separatist movements across the whole extended region, whose combined violence is now worse than in Chechnya, and no Basayev to control tell them to stop while he surrenders to an international tribunal (as he promised he would), plus these people are also quite anti-Western too. This is complicating a situation to a degree, also Ingushetia would possibly want to join the independent Chechnya, and the same about North Ossetia and South Ossetia (this way or another). I think the last chances for a smoother transition were lost in 2005-2006.

    @rather than focusing on things that happened 10 years ago

    So why are you focusing on “things that happened 10 years ago”? Like “the victory” (neverending) and “the terrorist” Zakayev arriving in UK? I checked just your most recent posts, you know.

    @Alexei

    Don’t tell me you are taking Zhyrinovsky seriously. Communists: I don’t remember them nuking everyone anyone in the Soviet times (that is besides their own troops by Zhukov, but actually similar things happened even in the democratic countries, on a smaller scale). So no. I think Lebed would take power, anyway. I don’t know what Lebed would do, but I know he was not a “former” KGB crook and not a war criminal despite his life as a professional soldier. And there were even some other honest Russian top leaders in the first war (Rokhlin, Romanov), but the criminals had them physically eliminated during and after it, and the so second war was run exclusively by them, for their personal gains of all kinds, operating with full impunity not unlike like this given by Hitler to the German troops entering Poland. And the very worst of them, Shamanov (behind several organized killing-looting sprees in both wars, much the worst indiscriminate bombing – including the mentioned Katyr-Yurt too, and more, a genocidal creature whose very got symbolic to the local population, like Yermolov once or Chemical Ali to the Kurds), made a stellar career as all this made him Putin’s personal favourite (the rest ended variably, many of murdered or possibly murdered, their deaths as gang land as their lives – and actually Shamanov himself recently almost got killed in a rather suspicious road accident).

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