Making up for lost time today, folks.
Today, Russia’s Trust Bank (est. 1995) announced that its new spokesman is none other than Bruce Willis. “The decision to pick Bruce Willis was not accidental,” said a bank spokesman, saying that the bank did exhaustive marketing research and held many a focus group. “Bruce Willis’s image is one of a trustworthy and dependable person.” Thus the bank’s new slogan: “Trust is like me, except it’s a bank!”
via Kommersant

Clearly the pundits will now have to debate whether or not this will exacerbate the rift in the tandemocracy of Putin and Jean-Claude Van Damme.
I’m surprised they couldn’t dig up this guy.